OMFG!! A Helga!!

Another blog?

2009-09-06T20:59:00.000-07:00

As you might have noticed, almost everything in this blog is directed towards retards. Well, to those of you who want something different, visit www.igotranoverbyacar.blogspot.com for totally RANDOM stuff. And we're always open to suggestions on how to improve our blog. If you want random or stupid stuff, just ask. LolSprite. Anyway, we're gonna go to Retardland, Hong Kong next holiday to make fun of Stupid Retarded Bitches. By the way, we're offering free tickets for $100 for a $2 value.

If you wanna come, call 03-549@#48fg1. Free large Coke and Fries with every ticket. Just add $30.95. We'll send ur Coke, Fries and Retardland Ticket via pigeon. Remember to visit www.igotranoverbyacar.blogspot.com but not more often then this blog. MOO!

FYI, the stuff in this blog is directed to the retards in OUR SCHOOL which is SMKBPJ(B).

Dawn of HELGA

2009-09-03T00:16:00.000-07:00

While some of you have noticed, this blog revolves around the stupidity of Sakai & Boomer. Code name R.E.T.A.R.D.S For those of you who don't know what R.E.T.A.R.D.S means, its Ridiculously Extremely Tremendously Awfully REALLY Dimwitted Suckers. NOW YOU KNOW.
Anyway, a new breed of retard has emerged. The HELGA. This retard is the most dangerous of all. Unlike Boomer & Sakai who just go about eating du duz, the Helga goes about stalking people, then they proceed to steal your personal items like underwear and worship it. It may not sound like much, but just you wait...... For those of you who don't know, the Helga's habitat is Class 1Delta, and the FAT girls toilet so you people from SMKBPJ(B) had better beware.

Anyway, as we usually do, here's a summary of the retard known
only as Helga.

Name : Helga Grigorius Reichshit Loolapalakasuuza Fawntanilla.

Age :We just discovered it today as it was stalking us
back home from school.

Sex :It kinda, just kinda looks like a girl. Kinda.

Mentality : dUh!

Weight:Half a Sakai multiplied by two Boomers.

Height:60 dOh!s.

I.Q: Over -5 dOh!s (it's less than -1000 normal I.Q. score)
*dOh! is used as a universal retard measurement

Hobby: Stalking people and begging for used toilet paper. When we say used, we mean you've wiped your ass with it.

Religion : The Great Retard Bobo Sh@warna L337 ZoRz Du Duzimorizo

We're sorry for the small amount of details but due
to the fact that this Retard is much more obese and disturbing than the others, we have to wear a special suit just to get within 10 metres of it.

The ~~~~ Anti-Retard Suit.

A man in a weird hazmat suit trying to kill
a Helga. Whats wrong?

Now we show you what a Helga looks like. P.S the camera greatly reduces the ugliness of a Helga.
The power of Cybershot. That thing in her arms is a heap of used toilet papers. After being put in the microwave for three hours.

*If you see a Helga, do not alert it to your presence, for it will chase you around yelling: "DUH!!!!!HGSDKAPA!!!!!DUDUDUDUDUDZZZZZZ!!!!! and try to kiss you. I know, its disturbing. So, find a weapon (Perfume and nice smelling things work nicely against the stink of the Helga, and chopsticks are excellent for pulling out its brain. Careful, some of them don't have brains.)

*If you like the Helga or anything else that is stupid and retarted, visit www.retardsarecool.com. Then you will be an official Retard and we'll and your name to the list of WWR (World Wide Retards)

*If you want to learn more about retards, go to www.dudubleakretard.com or www.chopsticksandperfumes.net.

*Anti-Retard equipment is sold in every Minitoons™ store.

*Helga is seen on Boomer's World too, and in case you forgot, its every Friday 9.00p.m on Channel 552 , TVIQ.

Something to Think About

2009-09-02T02:01:00.000-07:00

As none of you know, there is a secret agency that has infiltrated every level of our governments, searching for their targets known as Retards. This agency is called the ARI, or the Anti-Retard Initiative. Although we're not sure why they gave themselves such a retarded name. Hypocrites.

Anyway, ARI was responsible for many deaths throughout the centuries. Here are a few examples:

Julius Caesar - Balding was thought to be a symptom of retardedness in the old times.

Adolf Hitler - Mistaken for a famous retard named doH! because of that ugly mustache.

Abraham Lincoln - Don't ask me why.

George Washington - They failed to kill him so they knocked out his teeth instead

ARI was also responsible for the deaths of many Japs during World War II, because it was them who dropped the bomb on Hiroshima. The reason: Japs kinda looked like retards. Then they dropped another atomic bomb on Nagasaki because it was, according to one of their staff, " Watch Jappies go boom-boom fun-fun!!

That same employee was terminated one day later for positive symptoms of Retardedness.

And we're keeping our fingers crossed that ARI stops their Irish stupidity and notices that we have a Sakai and a Boomer here. Maybe hanging Boomer from the flagpole will help.

So, boys and girls, if you suspect a person of Retardedness, do not contact the authorities, but immediately pick up a weapon, preferably a pair of chopsticks, and dig out the retard's brain.

Remember, you'll be doing humanity a great service. ^^

ARI Commando Squads. These squads are trained to hunt down and kill Retards. Actually they don't need much training, cause Retards are so darn easy to kill. F.Y.I, Retards kinda like to hide in public toilets, the smellier the better.

End of holiday

2009-08-30T05:55:00.000-07:00

Well, 2 weeks of school holidays is finally coming to an end. (Damn you jack!! You get 3, you mutha f***er)

Anyway, this probably means that i have to see that goddamn Sakai again. And no, I did not forget the retarded boomer. After all, he's the thing that goes up to total strangers an says " Duhh, what's in dah pantz"

Anyway, well i guess that's it. I'm not really in a mood to post due to the ending of the holiday. But I promise to make up for it.

And while you're reading this post, I might as well tell you a joke. Well, here it is " Add a bed, minus your clothes, divide your legs and multiply." P.S.: I got this from a friend who's identity has been withheld.

Stay Healthy Everyone!!!

2009-08-18T09:32:00.000-07:00

There have been many deaths recently not only from H1N1, but also from other diseases recently. So, our editor has forced us to show you some tips on how to stay healthy.

P.S Please follow these tips, or we will lose our job. No pressure.

Brush twice a day.

Remember, you are what you eat

Visit the dentist regulary.

Get plenty of rest.

Make sure your hair is dry before going outside..

Eat right.

Get outside in the sun every once in a while.

Always wear a seatbelt.

Control your drinking of alcoholic beverages.

Smile! It will make you feel better.

Don't overindulge yourself.

Always wear a safety helmet while playing

Love your country, join the army (random)

Don't bite off more than you can chew

Exercise often

Love yourself, don't do what this cat does

Awesome!!

2009-08-12T20:47:00.000-07:00

Due to the Boomer, I mean H1N1 outbreak, our school closed for 1 week. Plus the week after that.
2 weeks of holiday = awesome. Although I'm sure Boomer had something to do with this. And to all of who's schools are still open, IN YOUR FACE!! Anyway, remember this??

* To the left are a few examples of Boomer, I mean Flying Pigs

Here's a little something for you to remember me by.

And me in front of the computer. P.S the cigar's Cuban.

.....Got a little lost in New York City.

Left 4 Lol......

2009-08-10T23:18:00.000-07:00

To all those who play Left 4 Dead, this is the clip you've got to watch. If you don't play the game or wet your pants whenever you see a blood-covered zombie, it's quite funny too, but maybe you wouldn't completely understand it. Anyway, this clip contains swears, but don't blame us, we didn't make it.

This isn't the real Left 4 Dead, so don't get mistaken XD.......

No offense to Mexicans and zombies.

And here's the link if you want to watch it on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OjcRBoCbSg

Our List of Staff

2009-08-09T23:47:00.000-07:00

This are some of the pics of our goofy employees. P.S some of these pics were taken a long time ago so the people inside might have changed a bit.

So here are the pics.

Get ready a paper bag for puking.

Our first editor - the

late Lucius Vladimir Putin Francis Vrngghd
von Q. Swaztikanegga

In service : 250 - 190 B.C.

Our janitor, Mr. Borronco

Albama Gandalf.

Just one of the

staff, Miss Megan Fox.

She got really PISSED for us taking a photo of her taking her daily drug dosage.

Mr & Mrs Finnigan's deaths were never reported in the News Straits

Times.

Another one of our staff, Mr Harry James Potter, an employee

so hardworking that he writes during his bath.

The Twins, Angelina and Selina Jolie, fighting for a cup of

coffee during their lunch break.

Two brothers, Jeffrey and Jeffrey Henderson,

fighting for the rights to use the bathroom.

And finally our beloved readers and paparazzi.

And also, our office on Fridays.

And we also hired this fellow to terminate any Sakai, Boomer and Retards in the perimeter.

P.S: He's got a really trigger happy finger and a hunger for blood.
Watch your ass.

Note from the Head Idiot

2009-08-09T02:22:00.000-07:00

Attention~~~

All readers, this is a post from the editor, ~. We
welcome everyone, especially those from class 1E, as most of the posts in this blog will involve students there. To the good non-retarded students, we mean no offense to you whatsoever. To the idiots like Boomer and Sakai, we mean every thing we say, and we know its true. (We know your crush, Boomer!)

This blog is not like others, as we update our posts every so often, and posts may contain slight changes every time you read them. Sorry for the inconvenience, but sometimes our writers may write incorrect or vulgar content in our posts and we have to correct them.

Enclosed is a photo of us, ~~~~. Me and the gang XD

The Staff of ~~~~

*Please leave any comments in the Cbox. And please don't spam, we hate spamming.)

*We apologize for any unintended offense, although not to Boomer,Sakai and other retards.

*Again, we despise you, Boomer. And Sakai too.

SUPPORT US IN OUR FIGHT AGAINST RETARDEDNESS!!!!

Flying Pigs

2009-08-08T19:54:00.000-07:00

Goodie, Goodie, Flu season is here. Well, some students from 5A (no names mentioned) contracted H1N1 recently. Since then, We've been imagining on what happens when you screw around with a vile of avian and swine flu. Well, here are the results.

*to the right are a few examples of the
results.

*while we're at it, we might as well show you a bunch of other goofy things in our neighbourhood.

*To the left is the real life ninja turtle!! P.S the sword is real.

*Awww, it's a care bear. How cute, its using its massive razor sharp teeth-filled jaws to pull the screaming woman out of the water, leaving a gruesome trail of blood in the process. Not to mention organs.

* I call this one the cat-terpillar. $5 for a ride, seniors and kids $3. Goes at 10 miles an hour (Only speed available)

* And last but not least, Count Quackula. A very romantic companion with elegant taste of fashion. Don't let it quack your blood out.

Dumbass In The Class

2009-08-07T17:24:00.000-07:00

Now, we're going to tell you about another DUMBASS, the SAKAI. Notice the words in green are used to describe how ugly, stupid, annoying and stupid it is. So, what happened is we got a sneak peek at it's diary. Yes, boys and girls. Cartoon Network is right. Ugly retarded creatures keep daries named dyri. And this is what we found. Attention! The following scenes may contain inapropriate content for children.

My namez sakai. Me like to pi-pi on passerbys an poop in publik. Me got long pubic hair in my noze. Today, me crawled doun fraum my tree. Me go see dawkter next door. Dawkter said me haf no pi-pi and testikawlz. Me iz ok with dhat.

What followed was rough sketchings of toilets and unfathomable words such as brtkgsk and rutskofmg. So, we're going to give you a rough summary of the SAKAI. And by the way, if you don't understand the passage, we don't blame you.

Name: Sakai

Gender: What Gender??

Age: Is it 1.3 or 13, i forgot

Hobby: Licking and sucking soiled adult diapers OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

I.Q.: OVER -9000!!!

Zodiac: The Dumbass

Height: 3 feet of UGLINESS

Weight: how about 30 kilos of pure stupidity

Occupation: Making products out of PUBIC HAIR

Religion: Toilet (worships it every day for at least 3 hours)

Race: Stupid or Dumbass, no one knows

*This is a complete summary of the SAKAI. Almost none have been photographed(alive). But this is an exception. The SAKAI is depicted below.

*right, a SAKAI with pubic hair growing all over his face. This condition is known as PUBIUS GINORMOUS

*The scientific name for SAKAI is DUMBILICUS RETARDIA STUPEDIUS

*The SAKAI can be seen on Boomer's World too. Remember, Friday 9pm on Channel 552. Although we're not sure how this program is educational for kids.

First ( and possibly last ) blog eva!!!

2009-08-07T03:17:00.000-07:00

This is our first blog, and possibly the last one, so anyone who reads this is probably bored to tears. Notice the 'we'. If you don't, you're probably as stupid as Boomer. And Boomer is stupid. REALLY STUPID.
Now, we are not sure what stupid things to tell you, so we'll just tell you about a (thing) named Boomer.These are some of the details about it.

Nickname : Boomer
Real Name : Booomer

Age : (Mentality : 1) (Biological : Stupid. Plain Stupid)
Gender : Not sure. By the looks of it, it doesn't have one.
Zodiac : Ass
Weight : If it's as heavy (and fat) as it looks, probably 500 Metric Tons.
Height : Do you measure by feet, centimetres, or ugly?
I.Q : We'd like to give it a negative number, but it knows how to say 'du duz' so we'll give it a 1, maybe even a 2 for 'du duz' being a two syllable word.
Stupidity : 100%
Hobbies : 1: Vomiting at passerbys
2:Doing Du Duz
3:Eating Du Duz
4:Doing Du Duz on itself.
5:Doing Du Duz. Then eating them.
6.Doing Du Duz, then eating them. ALL THE TIME.*Apparently its hobbies are the only things its good at.

Friends : Real ones? None. Antisocial freak-pals? plenty. Most of them are nonexistant.
We're tired now so we'll just give you a summary on Boomer. Its stupid, digusting, stupid, fat, ugly, stupid, good at making du duz, and stupid.

*Boomer is not a work of art (except in Left 4 Dead ). It exists, in a class named 1E. We're not gonna say the school's name except its in Malaysia. Puchong.

*Du duz means poop.

*Don't forget to watch Boomer's World on Astro TVIQ, Channel 552 every Friday 9p.m. We wonder how this show is educational for children, and you'll wonder too when you see Boomer's picture.

*Boomer is fat. And stupid.

*Also here is Boomer depicted in a real life

picture.

*THIS IS THE REAL BOOMER. AND TRUST US, IT'S WORSE THAN THE LEFT 4 DEAD ONE.